A Shady Future
Nepali Times ईspecial 27 March - 2 April 2026 #1304
King Tribhuvan started the trend. His son Mahendra followed suit and started wearing sunglasses even at night.
Now, many members of Balendra Shah’s team sport shades, making them all look like the prime minister’s bodyguards. Wait, perhaps these are smart photosensitive bluetooth glasses with camera and video capability.
In which case, we are not observing them, they are observing us and it is all being uploaded live.
The new grabberment got right down to brass tacks by capturing the former prime minister and his home minister from home on Saturday. The UML then returned to what it was doing before it was rudely interrupted — resorting to arson and blocking the Mandala intersection.
We know Balen Shah is serious about his job because he ensured that all ten planets were well-aligned for his swearing-in at exactly 12:34 on 27 March on the auspicious occasion of Ram Nawami, and the timing was numerologically calculated.
When all else fails in Nepal, we can always fall back on astrology to plan ahead. Along with the new Attorney General, the prime minister should also appoint his personal soothsayer as Astrologer General.
The previous astrologer had to be fired because he got it all wrong by predicting that SBD would be PM seven times (he only made it to #5). To be fair, all the Starlink satellites orbiting the earth have messed up astrological calculations.
This prime minister could also put his belief in the Zodiac to good use by consulting his astrologers about how to deal with geopolitics. It is a sensitive topic because Nepal, as we know, is a planet caught in the gravitational tug-o-war between two giant planets: India and China.
My personal advice would be for Balen Shah to rely on Feng Shui and face northeast when receiving Chinese dignitaries, and rely on Vastu by facing southwest when dealing with India.
We should learn about futurology from our two neighbours, since I for one, would like to be forewarned about what is going to happen next week. Just look at how advanced our neighbours are: India is the world leader in fortune-telling, and China is way ahead in fortune-cookies. They both seem to know better than us what is going to happen to us.
For those naysayers who think astronomy is more important than astrology, I can only say that at times like these I’d prefer a horoscope to a telescope.
This brings us to this week’s Nepali Times, which went to press before the swearing-in, forcing the newsroom team to resort to stargazing to foresee the composition of the new Cabinet.
The symbolic page 1 cartoon by the talented Anup Tamu sums it all up by depicting Prime Minister Balendra Shah sporting shades with spiral swirls.
The accompanying analysis (Ball in Balen’s Court) by Special Correspondent Shristi Karki notes that although the prime minister has built his brand by being reticent and reclusive, as the country’s leader he may now need to be more communicative.
Shristi Karki also examines the enormous challenges the RSP government faces from Day One. On top of the structural problems, Nepal now has to deal with the economic fallout of the West Asia war. (Nepal’s New Government Heads into a Polycrisis, page 4)
In her Guest Editorial, Suvexa Pradhan Tuladhar says that the RSP can no longer describe itself as anti-establishment. It is the establishment. (Will It Be Different This Time in Nepal?, page 2)
On page 10-11, Vishad Raj Onta makes a case for Nepal’s new government to carefully reap the benefits of cryptocurrency and bitcoin mining (Time for Nepal To Enter Web3) while avoiding the pitfalls listed by ‘Dr Doom’ Nouriel Roubini in his op-ed, The Coming Crypto Apocalypse.
Heritage activist Alok Tuladhar takes us on a photo tour of the recently held Pāhāñ Charey पाहाँ चःह्रे festival in Kathmandu that celebrates female primacy.
Related to this is my review of Himalayan social anthropologist Gérard Toffin’s hefty new book, Newar Theatrical Performances: Religious, Royal, and Comic Aspects (All the World’s a Stage in Kathmandu, page 6).
And there is more interesting stuff:
Page 5: Jiwan Gurung writes in the latest Diaspora Diaries series about his life story of working in Qatar and now on a cruise ship (From Desert to Sea).
Page 9: Profile of a father in Sarlahi, who raised successful daughters (Girl Dad of Nepal).
Page 12: The latest in the Nepal Times series, Nepal Made, features two women entrepreneurs who started the cosmetic brand, Avani (Redefining Beauty).
That’s it. We will be back next week to ascertain if the astrological predictions were right.
Kunda Dixit
Classic The Ass!